The sexual scripts we form...

Lately I have been doing some reading and thinking about the scripts that are formed as a result of trauma. By scripts I mean beliefs and responses that become second nature. For example, learning to become submissive or cower when yelled at, as a result of being yelled at through childhood. Sexual scripts are quite similar. We train ourselves with responses and ways of thinking about sex, which can be helpful or unhelpful.

Scripts start early in childhood from messages we receive about sex. Were you taught that sex should only be within marriage? Was sex spoken about in a negative or positive way? Was your first consensual sexual activity enjoyable or did it result on guilt or shame? These are messages that are often carried into your adult sex life.

All of the latest research into therapy is suggesting that talk therapy alone is limited to making sustainable changes, therapy has to involve addressing the issue at a neuro-biological level. What this actually means is re-writing the scripts. This involves becoming aware of our scripts then actively changing them through talking and movement. An example of this may be that you find that whenever you talk about sex with your partner, you may feel embarrassed or ashamed and your body responds to this by slouching your shoulders or lowering your head. A change to this script would involve straightening your spine and holding your head up while you practice speaking clearly and confidently. Sounds strange but it actually makes a lot of sense - beliefs aren't just held in our thoughts or speech, they are held in our body.

If you are looking for more information on this check out Janina Fishers or Pat Ogden's work.

Have a great week!

Kristen Campbell