I have noticed lots of media and articles talking about the impact of pornography on our society, particularly relating to children’s exposure to pornography, porn addiction and how porn use leads to people committing sexual crimes. Sure, I agree that pornography is more accessible than ever due to internet and smart phones and yes there are problems with porn use, particularly overuse, but surely it still comes down to parental and self responsibility? I often find myself ranting when someone brings up this topic so will try to contain my rant in this post.
As human beings, we always seem to be looking for something or someone to blame. It’s the fast food world’s fault that we are obese, the Kardashian’s have made us all become brain-less and one didn’t have sex often enough so the other cheated. Sometimes it’s easier to place blame and responsibility anywhere except where the responsibility lies – on yourself. The same could be said for porn.
Sure, most mainstream porn isn’t great. It usually depicts men as rock-hard sex Gods who last forever while the woman is merely on the Earth for his pleasure. She has a perfect body, with perfectly perky breasts, a flawless vulva and seems to ‘Oh’ and ‘Ah’ whenever touched. It definitely sends the wrong messages, when we are thinking about accurate sexual information – for the record the average time for a man to go from penetration to ejaculation is 3 to 6 minutes – and does nothing to improve gender and sex stereotypes. Also, there are some interesting studies showing the porn is leading to young men experiencing erectile dysfunction due to the changes that occur in the brain in response to viewing porn excessively. But it is a choice to view it and be entertained by it. There are plenty of options to choose from, if mainstream porn isn’t for you. There are also lots of ways to avoid it if you so choose. Children should be appropriately supervised when they are using the internet and there should be restrictions on their internet use, to prevent them accessing porn sites. This usually means that parents have to be up to date with protective measures and be willing to supervise. .
In regards to porn leading to violence against women, I agree that porn normalizes treating women as sexual objects, but again I come back to personal responsibility. There are plenty of men in the world who watch porn and do not harm women or anyone else. It is absolutely a choice to harm another human being and blaming violence on a form of entertainment is depriving the person from taking responsibility for their action. I definitely agree that some porn depicts violence or actually is violent against women and I don’t think this should be available, like porn involving children and animals shouldn’t be available. Unfortunately, it is near impossible to police and it does come down to taking personal responsibility for not viewing porn that is illegal and degrading to others.
Overall, porn can be a healthy addition to a healthy sex life, as long as it is porn that is legal, is used in moderation and portrays healthy sexual activity and the individual using it has the ability to realize that porn is just like any other movie, it doesn’t necessarily depict reality. In a world where we have so many choices, porn is just another choice, but it is us who have the choice and the power to allow porn into our and our children’s lives.
Here is an interesting Ted Talk on porn, if you are interested in hearing some of the challenges to studying porn use. http://yourbrainonporn.com/garys-tedx-talk-great-porn-experiment