Hard on's. Boners. Stiffies. There are so many words to describe an erect penis. They really aren't very sexy words though. Just saying.
The thing we never hear is erectile dysfunction. Or impotence. These words are even less sexy. But, the thing is, it is one of the most common men's health issues and we just aren't talking about it. Once you hit 50, 50% of men will experience difficulties achieving or maintaining an erection. 60% of men in their 60's, 70% of men in their 70s and so it goes on. It effects men in all different ways too. Some men aren't bothered by it and adapt their sex life to suit their functioning and still enjoying very satisfying and enjoyable sex. Others feel deeply ashamed and as though they have become useless in bed. Erections are a curious thing because they are often caught up in how a man sees himself. Having a strong, hard erection is often synonymous with a man feeling masculine and when it goes away, it can leave a man questioning his masculinity and identity.
There are loads of reasons for having difficulties with erection, with the most common being physical health concerns like high cholesterol. Often if the physical health concern is addressed, a man's erection will return to usual. Psychological concerns are also a common cause, including performance anxiety or depression. Another really common reason is the use of particular medications, especially anti-depressant medication.
There is that great myth that men's sexuality is purely physiological so, in true form, there are dozens of 'treatment' options that don't involve therapy. Viagra, injections, nose sprays are just a few. A lot of the options available commercially (i.e. without the involvement of an Accredited Medical Practitioner) are useless and if they do improve erectile functioning, it is usually a placebo effect. I have heard horrendous stories of men seeking treatment from commercial companies who spruik nose sprays, but the sprays themselves have caused other issues like burning of the nostrils.
The best advice is to always talk to your GP and be prepared to access a range of options; pharmaceutical in conjunction with psychological therapy (e.g. sex therapy) is best practice. Sex Therapy can be really helpful to discover other ways to enjoy sex. A lot of men don't realise that orgasm is possible without erection and there are also plenty of other things you can introduce into your sex life to promote satisfaction for both partners. Erection challenges are just another normal part of getting older, but it certainly doesn't have to mean the end of a fulfilling sex life or the end of masculinity, it actually provides a reminder of all the other wonderful things that you can try with your partner!
Thanks for reading!
Kristen Campbell - Sex Therapist